Posts Tagged ‘relocation companies london’

Relocating to London with Your Spouse: Are You “Trailing” or “Accompanying”?

Thursday July 22nd, 2010

Today finds me feeling a little more at peace with the trees . I’m still not happy about it, but I can accept it. Evidently, my husband and I are the only ones who find it to be a big deal, reinforcing the fact that this is a typical occurance in London. Fine.

Speaking of my husband, I know I’ve mentioned before that our London relocation was the result of his new employment. I happened to read a blog post today on the A Diplomat’s Wife site about the term “trailing spouse” applied to those spouses who move on the other’s behalf. I agree with the author’s sentiment that the term bears a negative connotation that makes me think ick. As I just commented on her post:

“‘Trailing spouse’ makes me feel like my husband just clubbed me over the head and dragged me to London by my hair, as my passive carcass leaves a trail in the dirt.”

Personally, I prefer the term “accompanying spouse,” which I’ve started seeing in equal frequency. Maybe it’s still not ideal, but it captures more of the essence that a spouse has made the move as a willing participant in support of the person he or she loves. As A Diplomat’s Wife says:

“I did not give up my life, my career and my family to blindly follow a man around the world. [...] I chose to live my life with [my husband].”

I believe that it’s not only important for others to perceive that this is the reality of an accompanying spouse (i.e., not that you’re just a passive puppy following someone all around the world—unless, of course, you are…to each his/her own, ay?), but even more vital that you yourself wrap your mind around it. Otherwise, it can lead to feelings of insecurity that spiral into resentment toward—guess who—your spouse. That’s when the partnership breaks down, and for relocations, it is critical to sustain that team effort. You’re in it together, so you need to work through it together and make sure both spouses’ best interests are taken into account.

I’m sure you’re thinking that this is just a basic lesson in marriage—yes, quite true. But a relocation amplifies all that is already challenging in a marriage (see my referral to Robin Pascoe’s books on this topic in “5 Recommendations for Families Moving to London“). The main reasons why this is so (at least from my perspective) are: 1) the “It’s the principle of the matter” mindset (in which one might resent that his/her priorities came secondary to the spouse’s reason for moving), and, 2) transitioning into what role one will assume in the new location.

Tackling the first issue is primarily psychological—mind over matter, as they say. It’s not to say that your concerns aren’t legitimate and you shouldn’t assert your viewpoints to ensure your side is understood and that your spouse will similarly make concessions to maintain the balance of power in the relationship. However, it’s also imperative to recognize when maybe your side is understood and your spouse will and does make concessions, in which case the problem may rest largely in your mind, so requires a shift in outlook.

As for the second issue, well, if you have left a job behind and have the ability to be a lady of leisure/man of means, that’s not too shabby a circumstance to embrace, at least for a little while—enjoy yourself, for goodness’ sake! If you’re moving to London, no one will dispute the limitless options of things to do to stimulate your intellect and fuel your soul. And if you’re raising a family, it goes without saying that that’s plenty enough. I myself seized the chance to channel my inner Domestic Goddess and finally learned how to cook! I went from zero to hero . On the other hand, if you need/want to work, I can’t promise that it will be simple to reenter what occupation/salary you left behind in this market, yet there are many resources to tap to establish the network you need to get your “in”—see my previous posts, “London Job Opportunities for Women” and “AmProWoLo…Huh? Wha?” as examples of resources for women (unfortunately, similar resources for men are fewer and further between as they represent probably less than 20% of accompanying spouses; however, their increasing number commands these support systems to be put in place. I’ll keep researching and share them with you!).

Whatever the terminology, “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” so just remain confident in your decision to support your spouse, remembering that it was your choice, too, to make this awesome journey together.

Tags: london jobs, London Relocation, London Relocation Services, Moving to London, Moving to London from US, relocating to London, relocation companies london, Robin Pascoe, trailing spouse
Posted in: Moving to London: Tips & Culture, Relocating to UK: Visas, Banking, & Other Logisitical Issues
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Turning a New Leaf

Wednesday July 21st, 2010

Today’s post is written with a heavy heart indeed…I dreaded going home today to behold the dismal fruits of the tree surgeon’s labors: tree pruning, or lopping, as I’ve come to learn.

I’m no tree-hugger, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I literally wept this morning at the sound of the tree surgeon revving his saw. I looked out my 2nd floor flat at the branches that were always eye-level—indeed filling our entire view out the giant sash windows with vibrant green leaves. As those leaves rustled in the cool morning breeze, it looked as though they were waving goodbye.

24 plane trees, reduced “to point of last reduction,” per the borough council website.

Last night as my husband and I roamed to the opposite side of our square to lament the sheer ugliness of the stumpy trees (they look just like a horrid winter scene painting I made in 5th grade when I couldn’t quite grasp that branches should taper) a neighbor in the square informed us that this occurs every 7 years on this particular site. Over those 7 years, a lovely growth of young branches had emerged, which we’ve enjoyed over the last 2 years; what leaves (pun intended) me sad right now is simply the thought of not getting to see them turn this autumn . The leaves also soaked up a lot of street noise, as we noticed during the winters when their bareness created no buffer.

Thanks for listening to me whimper. I’m an aesthetics-oriented gal and have enjoyed those trees and the songbirds that serenaded from their fine branches by mere virtue of dwelling in our flat. My pensive moments writing at the computer that send me looking out the window for the right words to come might meet with a little less inspiration now…I just don’t know.

In any case, this phenomenon is something that I’ve first really come to notice to this drastic extent here in London and elsewhere in Europe. In many-a neighborhood, you’ll encounter this shorn vegetation, which must be approved by borough councils pursuant to Tree Protection Orders (TPO); trees located in historic conservation areas are likewise protected.

I suppose these English gardeners know what they’re doing for the better of the trees, and sometimes it’s necessary to protect the buildings in close proximity—in our case, a Victorian church (which is luckily so pretty in itself), not that I’m sure that’s the reason. I’m devastated that it’s happening in the middle of summer when they’re so lush, but I guess with all the trees in this beautifully green city, the workload has to be spread around all year, and the season of pruning is supposedly irrelevant to what’s best for the tree itself. All we can do is cross our fingers that the trees persevere through the trauma, healing over to shield themselves from disease so that residents can enjoy them for generations to come.

I reckon when life gives us a good lopping, we grow stronger for it, too .

Tags: english garden, London conservation areas, london plane trees, London Relocation, London Relocation Services, london tree protection orders, Moving to London, moving to london from america, relocation companies london, Relocation London
Posted in: Moving to London: Tips & Culture
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High Maintenance and Moving to London?

Tuesday July 20th, 2010

Never fear—we here at London Relocation Ltd. will help even the most demanding of clients

We understand that our clients are quality people with quality expectations (but of course, that’s why they choose to work with our quality company!), so we set the bar high for the properties we will show. In our collaborations with area lettings agents, we emphasize that flats must be located in safe neighborhoods, close to public transportation and necessities (grocery stores, etc.), and be of a high standard from both practical and aesthetic standpoints.

Granted, a part of our job is also managing those high expectations. As I’ve touched on often in this blog (including my brief series on “What to Expect in a London Flat“), London is not going to be the exact replica of where one is relocating from, nor should it be. Money does not go as far, and spaces do not stretch as vast; lifestyles must be adapted on varying levels, no question. That being said, with our own experience as expats of what lifestyle and housing can be like elsewhere, we do our best to match client preferences to the closest London has to offer for a given area and budget, and we’ll persist until the client is satisfied.

Newly refurbished kitchen and bath? All wooden floors? Done—that’s what we like too! And sure, as in the photo, demands such as accommodation of pets can throw a curve ball into the mix, simply because not all buildings or landlords allow them. Yet in a case like this, though moving without a pet will certainly open more doors (literally) to you, it is not to say that pet owners will not still find a living space ideal for both man and beast. This is where having a relocation specialist on your side makes all the difference—increasing your odds by increasing your options.

Relocating to London means embracing a new life abroad with a diversity of cultural experiences, yet it doesn’t have to mean entirely checking who you already are at the door.

You might want to reconsider that hat, though